Daughter: What can I get you for Christmas Dad?
Bryntin: Don’t worry about it… You know how I am about Christmas.
Daughter: Funny socks?
Daughter: Something smelly?
Daughter: Something tasty?
Bryntin: Are we still on socks? No. Look, don’t worry about it eh? I know you want to but honestly, I’d rather you saved your money for yourself and didn’t waste it on anything I don’t really need, even for a laugh.
Daughter: You are a fun sponge.
B: A what?
D: A fun sponge. If there’s fun spilling out anywhere, you soak it all up so there isn’t any left and nobody else can have any. You’re grumpy.
B: Really? Just because I don’t want a Christmas gift?
B: If you think I don’t enjoy fun, well, this is a bit worrying for someone who writes a bit and considers that his writing might be slightly funny. In the right light.
D: I’ve read it.
B: Did you laugh?
D: Once or twice.
B: Ah good. Which post?
D: All of them
B: You laughed once or twice per article?
D: No, once or twice and I read all of them.
B: I appear to have fathered a humourless daughter.
D: I work hard and I’m going to Cambridge next year.
B: I appear to have fathered a humourless and clever daughter.
D: Sometimes there’s a mutation. It came up in the Biology A Level. Anyway, I am funny too.
B: You certainly are. Like if I write what you said really I should spell it ‘thometimes’. That’s funny. There’s different kinds of clever though. And different kinds of funny.
D: I have a lithp. So don’t take the pith.
Dad.. I can see you, stop it!
Of course there is. We did some of that in English A Level. We studied some funny writing.
B: Are you sure I’m a fun sponge though?
B: Not, perhaps, a levity loofah?
D: pfffttt… Dad…don’t start….
B: Not just a mirth mop?
B: A comedy commode?
D: Nooo…! Daaaddddd…!
Umm.. maybe joke J-cloth?
B: Nice… perhaps a delight dumper?
D: Maybe a snark scrubber?
B: Or a wit wipe? They clean them down at the laugh laundry….
… 5 minutes later ….
Mrs B enters lounge where Bryntin and Daughter are wiping eyes and still laughing…
Mrs B: What is going on?
Bryntin: A cheer chipper…..?
Daughter: In the giggle garbage…!
Mrs B: Well?
Bryntin: (Winks at daughter…) Ah, hello Mrs Sponge…
Bryntin and Daughter dissolve into tears and giggles….
Then, after a minute or two to catch breath and calm down a bit.
Bryntin: My daughter and I are exploring all the ways in which I do not enjoy any fun and am not funny and she is nothing like me.
Mrs B: That’s true. You’re a grumpy git.
Daughter and Bryntin look at each other…
B: A sad sod?
D: A cranky curmudgeon?
B: Nice one…
True story. Sadly my daughter and I are a little alike in some ways but she is hard working, clever and studious as well.