Assorted, Honestly

The Cranky Curmudgeon Fun Sponge

Daughter: What can I get you for Christmas Dad?
Bryntin: Don’t worry about it… You know how I am about Christmas.
Daughter: Funny socks?
Bryntin: No.
Daughter: Something smelly?
Bryntin:  No.
Daughter: Something tasty?
Bryntin: Are we still on socks? No. Look, don’t worry about it eh? I know you want to but honestly, I’d rather you saved your money for yourself and didn’t waste it on anything I don’t really need, even for a laugh.
Daughter: You are a fun sponge.


B: A what?
D: A fun sponge. If there’s fun spilling out anywhere, you soak it all up so there isn’t any left and nobody else can have any. You’re grumpy.
B: Really? Just because I don’t want a Christmas gift?
D: Yes.
B: If you think I don’t enjoy fun, well, this is a bit worrying for someone who writes a bit and considers that his writing might be slightly funny. In the right light.
D: I’ve read it.
B: Did you laugh?
D: Once or twice.
B: Ah good. Which post?
D: All of them

B: You laughed once or twice per article?
D: No, once or twice and I read all of them.

B: I appear to have fathered a humourless daughter.
D: I work hard and I’m going to Cambridge next year.
B: I appear to have fathered a humourless and clever daughter.
D: Sometimes there’s a mutation. It came up in the Biology A Level. Anyway, I am funny too.
B: You certainly are. Like if I write what you said really I should spell it ‘thometimes’. That’s funny. There’s different kinds of clever though. And different kinds of funny.
D: I have a lithp. So don’t take the pith.
Dad.. I can see you, stop it!
 
Of course there is. We did some of that in English A Level. We studied some funny writing.

B: Are you sure I’m a fun sponge though?
D: Yep.
B: Not, perhaps, a levity loofah?
D: pfffttt… Dad…don’t start….
B: Not just a mirth mop?
D: pfftttt….Don’t…
B: A comedy commode?
D: Nooo…!  Daaaddddd…!
Umm.. maybe joke J-cloth?
B: Nice… perhaps a delight dumper?
D: Maybe a snark scrubber?
B: Or a wit wipe? They clean them down at the laugh laundry….
D: Noooooooooo!

… 5 minutes later ….

Mrs B enters lounge where Bryntin and Daughter are wiping eyes and still laughing…

Mrs B: What is going on?
Bryntin: A cheer chipper…..?
Daughter: In the giggle garbage…!

Mrs B: Well?
Bryntin: (Winks at daughter…) Ah, hello Mrs Sponge…

Bryntin and Daughter dissolve into tears and giggles….

Then, after a minute or two to catch breath and calm down a bit.

Bryntin: My daughter and I are exploring all the ways in which I do not enjoy any fun and am not funny and she is nothing like me.
Mrs B: That’s true. You’re a grumpy git.

Daughter and Bryntin look at each other…
B: A sad sod?
D: A cranky curmudgeon?
B: Nice one…



True story. Sadly my daughter and I are a little alike in some ways but she is hard working, clever and studious as well.











4 thoughts on “The Cranky Curmudgeon Fun Sponge”

    1. I am afraid that Bryntin has left the Facebook building… but +SUBTLE HINT…+ I haven’t stopped anyone from sharing anything they like here +…END OF SUBTLE HINT+

      Like

  1. Haha! At least you can laugh with and at each other. The most my dad managed was some little ditty that began ‘give the night po’ and ducking various missiles from other members of the family.

    Liked by 1 person

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