Welcome to Just the Facts, a column where I am your curator of some little snippets of information that you may reliably tell other people are true because you read them on the internet.
In this special edition, following on from my Brexit explainer and the article Just the Facts: Renegotiated for Factualness, I am bringing you an update on the current state of play regarding negotiation, renegotiation and any further negotiations that might lead to all renegotiations being negotiated at this present time.
- The UK Government on Thursday again voted against itself, or at least abdicated any responsibility for the whole voting thing, initiating another announcement from the PM admitting it was frankly incomprehensible that no one else wanted a Brexit like hers but she was bravely heading off again, not to sacrifice herself but to attempt to renegotiate an agreement that she had herself originally negotiated with the EU people she was negotiating with but could not negotiate an agreement with her own party on the results of that negotiation and had equally not managed to renegotiate it at all since that first time either. So she is heading back to the EU again to try to reopen negotiations so she can negotiate the renegotiation of the negotiation in order that they can then present the results of the renegotiation as a new negotiation. She then hopes everyone will see what a trooper she has been through the whole thing and she can then negotiate that through Parliament, even if it’s exactly the same as the original negotiation was originally seven months ago but hopefully now has a couple of extra commas in it somewhere.
- Pointing out that they wrapped their end up half a year ago, the EU still aren’t interested in the word renegotiation and have said ‘At this point, I think she only comes here for the Frites or just likes the many excellent chocolates we have here.’
- Just before she hopped on to a aviation fuel-guzzling private jet just to buy Frites and chocolates, Mrs May had time to comment on how much of a waste of time it was for children to be playing truant out of school protesting about the lack of action on climate change and they should jolly well go back to school and learn some facts about the real world.
- The UK is not currently in a state of emergency but MI5 will be reading this anyway.
Keen-eyed readers will spot that this article is mainly an unoriginal piece simply cut and pasted from last weeks and slightly amended to add the extra progress on the whole matter since then.
Come back next week to see how long both I and they can get away with it and how many more uses of the word renegotiatiate I can get in. Please do not attempt to read this post out loud unless you are confident that you can negotiate it without injury.