Assorted

Bye.

Sorry, they sent it to me Adam.

“Well thank god that’s over. If only I’d not been eyeing up the caviar vol-au-vents when Sir Nicholas Winton wisely advised me about compromise and I’d looked up what the word actually meant. I didn’t realise I had to do it as well, otherwise what’s the point of being the boss?

I’ll list my honourable achievements… Um…
OK, there’s Hostile Environment, Windrush, Go Home vans, basically anything to stop good old Blighty letting anyone different in including refugee children, cutting any services that cost more than £50.00, training Boris to only poop in our garden at home and providing day care for Chris Grayling… I mean, I don’t get why the extreme right wingers weren’t happy with me. Also, I elevated loads of people no one had heard of to Ministers of things for no apparent reason other than making me look competent. Who can forget such hits as Dominic Raab, Gavin Williamson and all the David Davis’s I could possibly find. Anyway, I’ll leave you all to sort it out, I’m off to argue with Philip about who’s putting the bins out tonight and see if the markets have moved enough by this announcement for him to have made a few more millions…

(Cry here to give impression of humanity)

Oh, nearly forgot, be kind to Boris, he’s a simple boy and responds well to kindness but don’t be afraid to kick his balls when he deserves it, probably every ten minutes I expect.

End Statement.

Embed from Getty Images

Now, go off and read this article by Ian Dunt. Proper writing.

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16 thoughts on “Bye.”

  1. Treeza, take a fuck off tablet , in fact take two.

    I have no sympathy for her, you only have to look at her time in the Home Office to remember what a (insert profanity here) she is.

    During her time in office, she has consistently made choices that work well for her husband, F the country and she has the cheek to feel sorry for herself?

    Dry yer eyes!

    Sorry for swearing on your page

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yer alright Plot, I only dropped a ‘fuck’ in yesterday myself. (There’s three now!)

      Yep, I was writing satirical warnings about her four or five years ago when she was pushing ID cards and greater surveillance powers at the Home Office, ‘Darth Vadar but with more colourful fashion sense’ is how I had it I think.

      The worrying thing for the country now is that every single candidate that might be putting themselves up for this now will be worse. But at least if Jeremy Hunt gets it, we can look forward to more TV and Radio journalists slipping their own accidental swearing in.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep. That’s who I think will get it, though I can’t help feel like given what they have put the country through, maybe they should get Boris, or Raab, or Esther McVeigh or any of the equally low caliber candidates that 🤞could actually finish the Tories off for good.

        Vader in kitten heels – that’s burnt into my imagination now 😆

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, agree. But not helped at all by heading up the worst Government of living memory at the same time… and a new PM will have to come from it somewhere.
      Thinking about it, the official Opposition hasn’t been exactly playing a blinder either…

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You paint a bleak portrait, Bryntin. This entire episode has riveted Canada, as we watch meekly from the sidelines, with half an ear on what Trump says next. I am quite confident that, given another term in office, a wall will also be erected on the Canada/US border, thus walling in the entire USA. They can just stick a sign and call it Disneyworld.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Biggest laugh is now that they’ve removed the PM they have a bunfight between themselves for becoming the next one (60-100,000 Conservative Party members in the UK will decide who the PM representing 68 million other people is) but all the time the problem she couldn’t solve is still there, bigger and closer than it was before… and they’ll still fight about theoretical but impossible solutions afterwards.

        Liked by 1 person

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