Welcome to a special edition of Just the Facts, normally a column where Bryntin brings you a list of facts that are so incredible it is difficult to actually believe them.
This one is different, in that it’s a list of facts that are so incredible that it’s a mystery that probably only Cambridge Analytica could solve, and that the people who have not made them officially available for anyone so far have been in a position to carry on with the creation of them at all in the first place.
Probably, they would still happily be doing so – in what can only be described as ‘bare faced lying’ – without the help of someone wearing particularly capacious underpants doing some furtive photocopying in order to make them public.
“This is not Project Fear — this is the most realistic assessment of what the public face with no deal. These are likely, basic, reasonable scenarios — not the worst case. “
Let’s have a look at the facts this week, brought to you by The Sunday Times, regarding the UK’s most likely ‘No Deal’ scenarios on it’s proposed exit from the European Union. This is all according to the UK Government but not previously acknowledged to be the case by the UK Government (and likely to STILL be denied as ‘Project Fear’ by the assorted Cabinet and Conservative MP fuckwits who happen to have a large financial stake in making it happen).
- The UK Government expects the return of a hard border in Ireland
- The UK Government expects logjams caused by ‘months of border delays’
- The UK Government expects up to 85% of lorries using the main channel crossing facing up to 2½ days delay
- The UK Government expects that the flow of traffic at ports will improve to around 50-70% of its current rate after three months
- The UK Government expects that petrol import tariff changes will inadvertently lead to oil refinery closures, job losses, widespread strike action and disruption to fuel availability
- The UK Government expects medical supplies to be ‘vulnerable to severe extended delays’
- The UK Government expects the availability of fresh food to be reduced and prices to rise
- The UK Government expects clashes between UK and EU fishing vessels
- The UK Government expects protests across the UK that may require ‘significant amounts of police resources’
- The UK Government expects rising costs to impact social care with smaller providers impacted within 2-3 months, larger ones 4-6 months
So, just to briefly recap. Before leaving the European Union, none of the above is likely to happen at all, and in fact, cannot happen. Because we will still be in the European Union and still just arguing about exactly how good everything will be when we’re not in it.
After leaving the European Union, in a sudden withdrawal method not previously practised with any success by our Prime Minister, the UK Government expects these things to happen. Which makes it a jolly good idea that the PM has suddenly found that we need to find and fund 20,000 more policeman, possibly from among those 20,000 that his predecessor put out of work, and have 10,000 more prison spaces for those that are really, really annoyed and protesting or rioting instead of staying at home being starving and dying.
It’s a wonder the public haven’t been given all this information freely and previously and why the powers behind Brexit didn’t even really want these to be out at all even now. Perhaps they just got confused and forgot they’re there to serve us, not milk us.
Bryntin is sure we would have all fully understood it all and accepted it as a fair price for the wonders of sovereignty and freedom, because everything here was so unbearable as it was before all this.
Author Note: The above sort of article was the reason I stopped having a Twitter account and following ‘the News’. Following it, getting angry, wanting to react to it, it all just makes me ill, so I deleted the account.
But you can’t be disengaged and apathetic, because a lot of what has been happening is due to how disengaged and apathetic we’ve allowed ourselves to be, shrugging shoulders and saying ‘Well, what can I do about it, let’s go shopping and then perhaps watch another series on Netflix when we get home.”
But there has to be some point at which you have to engage with what is going on, but without getting overcome and exasperated by it all.
I think you can probably tell on which side of this particular fence I am on. I enjoyed being European and I still enjoy being so, and I identify as being European as only the second unit of human geographical descriptions that I give to myself (the other is Cornish, of course). Calling myself British is (whisper it, save you being put up against a wall facing the patriot firing squads) increasingly unlikely to garner me or anyone else any fans anywhere else in the world, apart from Trumpton.
So I urge those of you who actually read anything about the world as it is not to scroll on, tutting to yourself ‘Oh, that’s terrible’, but to do something about it. No, not just sign a minimal inconvenience and largely ignored online petition or have a bit of a rant on some social media. Join a political party that represents your views, get active about it all. Because increasingly, if you don’t – and are rendered impotent enough, to just let stuff happen, by simply shopping and consuming entertainment and being worried about how ‘well’ you’re doing in life compared to your neighbours – they will continue to be things that just happen to you instead of you taking any part in making things happen.
By the way, when I felt stronger, I created a new Twitter account. I try to keep relatively light-hearted and not to let it all affect me as much, but time will tell. I’m now on @bryntnhmphrys