Official Terrible Poetry Post: Epic

Welcome to another Bryntin entry into the world of deliberately terrible poetry, as opposed to the accidental sort that you normally find here. The challenge is run by Chelsea Owens so, if you’re going to blame anyone, proceed to her blog immediately and moan as much as you like. Thank you.

For either easy access or avoiding purposes, you may find Bryntin’s previous entries here and here.

Photo by Bich Tran on

Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 56: The Topic is an epic poem about a great adventure.

So this week’s theme is to create a verse that should perhaps evoke the spirit of the struggle, bravery and determination involved in participating in some great adventure.

There is a limit of 200 words, which will be a challenge but Bryntin thinks he can stretch it out that far.


I stood ready at the gates
barriers of glass and steel
my chariot afore me
with just the one squeaky wheel

I drew myself up
to my full imposing height
six feet of rippling ripples
ready for the fight

in my hand was ready
my orders and my token
to be her champion
without getting myself too broken

I had arrived so ready
keyed up for the battle
I circulated among them
found my space like milking cattle

I drew my breaths deeply
hoping they weren’t my last
I was ready, ploughing forwards
the swish of the barrier past

my quarry was beyond
more chariots, some unattended
by warriors or heathens
I made my way, unbended

the path was twisty, arduous
and I had to stop upon the way
gradually filled my chariot
for my sins I had to pay

messages upon the skies
bright colours burning upon the walls
one for free and three for one
watch out for those cutting falls

I looked into the eyes
of the fellows all around me
a hollow look, an emptiness
beaten by the melee

at the end of the maze
chariot champions one and all
waiting in line for absolution
and release from the market hall

Bryntin really thinks he has done a bit too well with that one and stands no chance at all. As deluded as normal then.

Note. There are in fact 205 words. Remove any five you like to make it fit.

Note: There used to be a bit of text down here that encouraged readers to share anything Bryntin writes that they thought was good or made them laugh.
Bryntin has realised that not many bothered much with that so he has replaced that paragraph with this long bit of alternative text, in the form of one very long sentence, which actually doesn’t make any point at all except to make you pretty annoyed that, if you have made the effort to read this far, you have now found it was actually just a complete waste of your time. Thank you.

11 thoughts on “Official Terrible Poetry Post: Epic”

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