Official Terrible Poetry Post: Playground

Welcome to the start of another week of Bryntin doing stuff badly, except for this challenge which is meant to be bad but he hasn’t so far been bad enough at.

Yes, it’s time for the Terrible Poetry contest in which Bryntin has, so far, not been top bad. However, with only three challenges taken part in before this one so far, Bryntin is at least having the unusual experience of what it’s like to be average for a change, perhaps until he builds enough experience to be as bad as Doug, who seems to be particularly good at being bad.

Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 58: The Topic is an awkward first poem to your awkward first crush.


I watch you at play time
good on the hopscotch or having a climb
I wonder if we could perhaps have a kiss?
although I’m not really ready for having kids

can you tell me why you girls wear skirts?
and why they call them a blouse and not shirts?
I have lots of questions for girls, you see
and you are one, so that’s alright for me

so I think, for you, I’ve got the hots
even though you have got lots of spots
would you like a share of my gum
that I’ve kept stuck up under my desk?

one thing I’d like to know about you
do you support Liverpool or Man U?
if it’s the Mancs we’ll have to part
I’ll ask Helen instead, she’s a right Scouse tart

Bryntin is not convinced he’s been bad enough again this time either so he’ll probably have to go and read all the other entries, but mainly Doug’s, to see if he can pick up more tips.

I’m sure Doug will be very happy that Bryntin has singled him out as a special talent and he looks forward to reading his comments underneath and perhaps may learn some new words.

Note: There used to be a bit of text down here that encouraged readers to share anything Bryntin writes that they thought was good or made them laugh.
Bryntin has realised that not many bothered much with that so he has replaced that paragraph with this long bit of alternative text, in the form of one very long sentence, which actually doesn’t make any point at all except to make you pretty annoyed that, if you have made the effort to read this far, you have now found it was actually just a complete waste of your time. Thank you.

11 thoughts on “Official Terrible Poetry Post: Playground”

  1. Having married a Scouse myself (not in the least a tart I must emphasise), I think Helen’s your better bet.
    Be careful what you wish for, Brintyn. In the same way that you can’t be a little bit pregnant, terribility tends to hang about for a generation, eating you out of house and home.
    I attend a monthly poetry reading session in the next town and I return inspired by some and the others provide infinite supplies of grist for the terribility mill. I made the mistake of writing a parody of the dum-te-dum te-dum-te-dum school of poetry and read it one day to the group. For some strange reason at least half the group were deeply unamused.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Based on a true story. The exotic Scouse girl Helen (who indeed wasn’t a tart but she didn’t have to rhyme with ‘part’ then) arrived in our West Country school and every boy mysteriously became a Liverpool FC supporter… which I am all these years later.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The agony cuts deep for a Palace fan… who incongruosly favours the fading fortunes of a red-clad Manchester club as well! ‘Nobody said soccer supporting is easy,’ to rip off Coldplay..May I, as they say, toss this out?
        She emerged from the swimming pool/I felt hot but played it cool/Yet somehow, I felt a tool/
        All the afternoon I spent/lying, trying to act the perfect gent/But, a blazing ball of discontent.


      2. Snoreball?
        Do you have any native games?
        Oh yes, Aussie Rules…ahem, ‘football’…
        That’s what happens when we let you invent your own games… testosterone chaos with vests on. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 2 people

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