Hit Me With Your Limerick Shtick: Green

Bryntin is part of a demographic for whom shopping online makes enormous sense, being as he lives at least fifty miles away from shops which are ‘mainstream’, i.e. have names that would be recognisable in any British High Street or shopping centre. There are a couple of mid sized towns nearby that offer smaller independent stores, which are worth supporting when he can, but there is a temptation to always look online, buy at the very best price he can get any particular item, and then have it delivered to him rather than getting in a car and making a special journey.

Luckily for Bryntin, he doesn’t often feel compelled to do much of this as he barely buys anything and particularly avoids products which are either disposable or of no discernable practical use, like scatter cushions or scented candles.

He does have friends who are on first name and ‘Stop for a quick cuppa?’ terms with the delivery drivers for some of the parcel delivery firms though.

What bothers Bryntin is what is on the other end of this chain of events, ending at some over-packaged bit of ephemera on your kitchen counter. And there seems to be one slightly bigger player trying to distract anyone else from thinking too hard about all that and, perhaps, trying to appear to be the nice guy at the moment.

Bryntin would like to mention at this stage that there is;
a/ a seemingly wide variety of pronunciations of the word ‘Bezos’
b/ once settled on, there are very few words that rhyme well with however you say ‘Bezos’
c/ Jeff is easier to pronounce than ‘Bezos’ but has the same difficulty with rhymes that fit nicely in to the limerick form.

So, having said that, this is a limerick presented without specifically mentioning who it might be about so you’ll probably have to have a random guess. (Hint: It’s not Mark Zuckerberg)

a jumped up bookseller from the amazon
has found a green band wagon to jump on
but to clean up his morals
he could’ve paid taxes without quarrels
and not treat his workers like automaton

Note: There used to be a bit of text down here that encouraged readers to share anything Bryntin writes that they thought was good or made them laugh.
Bryntin has realised that not many bothered much with that so he has replaced that paragraph with this long bit of alternative text, in the form of one very long sentence, which actually doesn’t make any point at all except to make you pretty annoyed that, if you have made the effort to read this far, you have now found it was actually just a complete waste of your time. Thank you.

13 thoughts on “Hit Me With Your Limerick Shtick: Green”

  1. I understand, Bryntin, that the correct pronunciation is obscenely rich social parasite or, in more polite circles, Bay-zos. This should leave the door open for an excruciating rhyme with pesos. PS Are you sure it’s a quick cuppa the delivery men are stopping for when they deliver the scented candles and throw cushions?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How the hell did I get so far behind on your posts? I feel like I should turn myself into the Cultural Authorities and beg for forgiveness. But until that doesn’t happen, I’m scrambling to catch up… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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