Anything Else

This Week on O4FS

Well, you’ve well and truly started something now.

I have?

Yep. It seems people are visiting specifically to read your Friday posts that are aimed at getting them to read anything they might have missed, or at least steer readers who have just happened in for this post today… Now they’re leaving ‘likes’ anyway. And even commenting.

It could be just desperation. Looking for some sort of justification or reason for following in the first place perhaps? Anyway, reminds me that I’ve often thought ‘likes’ should be graded.

Graded?

Yep, you know when people genuinely want to say something but, just at that time obviously, lack the time, wit or intelligence to match the sheer amusing artistry of what they just read so just want to leave a symbol of their appreciation, but in a kind of shorthand.

We’re going to the doctors after this.

You could have it on a scale of one to ten. With ten being the equivalent of ‘this entertained me so much I am looking around your site for a button to press which lets me donate money to you for entertaining me so handsomely.’

So I could give you ‘Like: 3 – I read it, didn’t really like it that much but here’s the prize of the small red notification dot of validation to your soul’s existence that makes you smile a bit when you see it on the little bell symbol, simply because I felt good and kind when I got out of bed this morning’?

Yes. And ‘Like: 5 – I was at the very least intrigued and might have gently smirked to myself (internally only, proper smirk externally on my face would be a 6). I may come back again another time to see if it was real and some sort of skill on the part of the author or a serendipitous but happy circumstance involving me still being in a euphoric mood, due to last night’s fun evening out with the lads drinking until 3 am, which hasn’t really worn off and descended into the inevitable thudding hangover quite yet.’

Or Like: 8 – At times I had to reach for my handkerchief to clean myself up as I had snorted with laughter but at the same time shook my head with a slightly pitying look on my face and thought ‘this is the strangely amusing work of a complete idiot but, hold on, I am just as complicit in the shenanigans he is engaging in because the bastard makes me laugh’ – just like Mrs Bryntin does when she reads any of my writing.

Well… Perhaps on second thoughts it should be one to five, I don’t expect there’ll be a need for much above that.

And one?

Yes, Like: 1 being ‘I didn’t even read your blog and I’m actually automatically pressing ‘Like’, and probably ‘Follow’ as well, 0.015 seconds afterwards, because I am a bot program and that’s what my programming makes me do.’

Those auto likes and follows are a bugger aren’t they though? It would probably work for WordPress if the like and follow buttons weren’t on the reader and only on your blog.

I’d only have half the followers that way!

Yes, but at least they’d be real ones. Well, at least ones who came here once anyway. Hey, remember that time you posted about your weight loss efforts and you had all sorts of health gurus and vitamin salesman suddenly liking your posts and following you?

And they mysteriously never came back again. I’m going to tag this post with weight loss now, because we’ve said the words twice already.

Right, anyway, I should provide links to this week’s posts.

That’s what you’re here for.

Monday was terrible poetry competition time. And announcing you’d ‘won’ it the previous week. Is that ‘Well done’? Anyway, it was Little Willie’ poems this week.

I’d never heard of them before.

Looks like you got the idea though. It was like South Park around here, except it was Willie not Kenny. Anyway, Tuesday was the Haiku, complete with infuriating intro…

Yes, infuriating. Like me adding in extra lines for no reason which are not actually contributing anything meaningful to the conversation in any way and are largely just really, really annoying.

Yes. And then Wednesday for a Limerick, topically aimed.

Oh, and I should probably add, if you already read and genuinely would have pressed ‘Like: 5’, if it was available, thank you for following and doing so. And do nip back to have a look in a weeks time to see what the tag ‘weight loss’ (and I might add ‘healthy eating’ now as well, because, strangely and fortuitously, it has just appeared in the text…) has captured in the avatars below…
πŸ˜‰


Note: There used to be a bit of text down here that encouraged readers to share anything Bryntin writes that they thought was good or made them laugh.
Bryntin has realised that not many bothered much with that so he has replaced that paragraph with this long bit of alternative text, in the form of one very long sentence, which actually doesn’t make any point at all except to make you pretty annoyed that, if you have made the effort to read this far, you have now found it was actually just a complete waste of your time. Thank you.

9 thoughts on “This Week on O4FS”

  1. In all seriousness (a place I know you don’t like to dwell in on your blog, Bryntin) your ‘Like’ scale has real potential. I propose an additional ‘Don’t Like’ scale, with 1. being “I would have enjoyed it more if you could spell.” to 5. “I hope the apocalyptic fantasies you keep writing about come soon.” Anything would be better than that appallingly fatuous notification that ‘Mrs Kafoops thought your post was pretty awesome’.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Esteemed sir or madam please to do us real favour of buying and trying Expel Ghastly Lipids Forever tablets at only $8.99 per day and remember to be liking us so others will kindly also buy same tablets bleep urgh nice post#

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Sir I like Like your work I give it an algorithmic 5.5. I AM real. My name is HAL.
    ‘Ere Bryntin, talking of numbers, care to give me four, roughly close to your PIN numbers, just so we can compare numbers? Yours in anticipation, Nigerian Royal Family Distrust.
    Nice cynical stuff, Bryntin.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You may think it’s cynical (and so do I) but look at the avatars on the ‘Likes’… and ‘Go Healthy Eating’ has just followed soon after liking. About 0.015 seconds after I should think…
    Thank you for your genuine 5.5 though.

    Liked by 1 person

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