Welcome to this week’s OFFICIAL Terrible Poetry Post, a regular weekly occasion on which Bryntin can relax his normally strict high quality approach to verse and present a deliberately written badly poem on a topic set by Chelsea Owens, in order to, hopefully, present something worse than anyone else.
Note; Bryntin is well aware that it really should be ‘badly written poem‘ and not ‘written badly poem‘ but it wasn’t accidental, that was the joke – badly written, see? – and now he’s explained it, so it’s not funny now, even if it ever was.
So, let’s have a look at the contest topic Doug will probably win at this week.
Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 60: The Topic is anniversaries. You can write about #60, #80, or even #6 months -you romantic fool, you.
there have been many mrs bryntins
I think you are the fifth
but you’re the one that’s lasted best
and didn’t run off with the blacksmith
like the last three did
what he lacks in wit
he makes up for with width
but they only really run off with him
because he rhymed with fifth
we have made it to ten years
which for me is new frontiers
and I know for you
it is also new
so how have we lasted so well?
I don’t know, I must be hell
to live with
but you are largely
the woman of my dreams
you make great tea
and bring it with custard creams
do you remember
when you made me propose?
and due to mitigating circumstance
like the pain for example
I said yes
and asked you to marry me?
can’t believe that ten years
has passed without too many tears
of frustration so well really
we go together
like fish and chips
you all crinkly
and me battered
like strawberries and cream
you fat and full of calories
me fruity but likely macerated
like punch and judy
which also doesn’t work out for me that well
so happy anniversary my love
I know you’ll be expecting a present
what do you mean it’s not till next month?
Note: There used to be a bit of text down here that encouraged readers to share anything Bryntin writes that they thought was good or made them laugh.
Bryntin has realised that not many bothered much with that so he has replaced that paragraph with this long bit of alternative text, in the form of one very long sentence, which actually doesn’t make any point at all except to make you pretty annoyed that, if you have made the effort to read this far, you have now found it was actually just a complete waste of your time. Thank you.